I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
