I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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