I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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