This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
