I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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