I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
