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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
