Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize