i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
