Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
