Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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