We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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