he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
