I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
