Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
