i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
