Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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