he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
