i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
