There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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