Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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