I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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