It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
