Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
