She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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