keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
