Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
