Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
