After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry about my life...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
