If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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