this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
