and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
