I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this boner is exhausting
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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