420 ftw
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
