I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
