I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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