And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
