i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
