carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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