Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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