The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
