In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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