so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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