Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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