After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
