seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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