I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
