after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
