Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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