none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
