I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
