She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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