best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fuck appropriateness.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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